i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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