That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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