Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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