I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
