I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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