At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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