I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
