Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
