i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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