not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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