I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
