I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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