Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize