i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
