just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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