Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
