so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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