so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
