dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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