i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Your cock deserves a montage
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
