Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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