that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
