whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
