Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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