I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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