I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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