i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
