I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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