i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
