ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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