Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
