are you so shy because you have an std?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
