I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize