so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
