My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
