are you still at the devil's house?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
