I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
