can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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