I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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