Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
