hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
