they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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