JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
