there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
