The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
