I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
