so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
