im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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