I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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