i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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