On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
50% drunk capacity currently
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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