I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
