Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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