I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
