i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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