So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
