Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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