i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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