this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
