Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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