so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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