Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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