after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
