this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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