We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
